111-619: Lord Havelock Vetinari ( / ˈ h æ v l ɒ k v ɛ t ɪ ˈ n ɑː r iː / , HAV -lock vet-in- NAHR -ee ), Lord Patrician ( Primus inter pares ) of the city-state of Ankh-Morpork , is a fictional character in Terry Pratchett 's Discworld series. Vetinari has written an unpublished manuscript known as The Servant , the Discworld version of The Prince by the Italian statesman and diplomat Niccolò Machiavelli . Lord Vetinari
222-573: A chieftain providing food for his followers. The appellation "lord" is primarily applied to men, while for women the appellation " lady " is used. This is no longer universal: the Lord of Mann , a title previously held by the Queen of the United Kingdom , and female Lords Mayor are examples of women who are styled as "Lord". Under the feudal system , "lord" had a wide, loose and varied meaning. An overlord
333-495: A 'sword made of the blood of a thousand men' ruler?" A year after the events of Men at Arms , he is poisoned with arsenic , which he inhales from the smoke of poisoned candles ( Feet of Clay ). Characteristically, he had caught-on to the ploy, but continued to fake both the symptoms and the evidence of it until the City Watch found out, cutting up the candle to give the impression that it had been burning all night, thus exposing
444-1008: A Germanic title of respect (in this case, from the Proto-Germanic root *haira- , "hoary, venerable, grey", likely a loan translation of Latin seniorem ). In other European languages there is Welsh Arglwydd , Hungarian Úr , Greek Kyrie , Polish Pan , Czech pán , Breton Aotrou , and Albanian Zoti . In several Indian languages there are the Hindi Swami , Prabhu , Thakur , Samprabhu (Overlord) and also words like Saheb or Laat Saheb from Lord Saheb were once used but have changed in meaning now, Telugu Prabhuvu , Tamil Koman , Kannada Dore , Bengali Probhu , Gujarati Swami , Punjabi Su'āmī , Nepali Prabhu . Words like Swami and Prabhu are Sanskrit -origin words, common in many Indian languages. Philippine languages have different words for "lord", some of which are cognates. Tagalog has Panginoón for "lord" in both
555-689: A bedroom. He presumably sleeps " The New Discworld Companion ). He is known to always be in his office at very late (or perhaps early) hours, apparently just coinciding with when someone wishes to see him and he wishes to see them. He is not often described as sleeping (exceptions are in Jingo and The Truth ), although he has been unconscious several times. He has one known relative (Lady Roberta " Bobbi " Meserole, his aunt) who may come from Genua and lives in Pseudopolis . She appears to share his forté for subtle politics . His father apparently died while Havelock
666-456: A centre of magical learning and the return of Henry (formerly the Dean) to Ankh-Morpork as a rivalling Archchancellor do much to antagonise Archchancellor Ridcully. Parallel to this, the book tells the story of four young people. A candle dribbler named Mr. Nutt discovers that he is not what he thinks he is and must overcome the fear of his race, both by humans and by himself. He is also chosen to train
777-528: A chilly, inscrutable way. In The Truth , he permits the emergence of a free press , and has rarely, if ever, been known to have innocent people just dragged off to dungeons without a trial : The notable exception to this rule are mime artists , whom Vetinari despises. Vetinari banned all mime performances from Ankh-Morpork shortly after taking power. Mime artists who violate the ban usually find themselves hanging upside down in Vetinari's scorpion pit while reading
888-546: A criminal who was also thrust backwards through time along with Vimes) against the remnants of the Cable Street Particulars (colloquially known as the Unmentionables), the late Lord Winder's secret police . The effect "Keel" has on Vetinari and the events of 25 May clearly shape Vetinari's views on the effective way of running the city (which had helped shape Vimes'). Vetinari later journeyed to Überwald on what
999-580: A deity. After the 11th-century Norman invasion of England and the influx of Norman-French-speaking clerics, this semantic field began to appear in religious texts as well, but that occurred during the later Middle Ages and not in Bede's early medieval period. The word "Lord" appears frequently in the King James Bible of the early 17th century. See also the article Jesus is Lord . Historical usage Present usage: Unseen Academicals Unseen Academicals
1110-565: A domestic intelligence service. Vetinari's rule over the city seems to be cemented by the general acknowledgement that very little goes on in the city that Vetinari does not know about. Thus, when a visitor stands in audience with the Patrician, they can be assured that Vetinari knows exactly why they're there, even if the visitor does not. Several attempts have been made on Vetinari's life or position; strangely enough, he seems to be involved in most of them. Shortly after his ascent to office, he
1221-623: A feudal baron, Lord of the Manor of many manors, was a vassal of the King. The substantive title of "lord of the manor" came into use in the English medieval system of feudalism after the Norman Conquest of 1066. The title "Lord of the Manor" was a titular feudal dignity which derived its force from the existence and operation of a manorial court or court baron at which he or his steward presided, thus he
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#17328553490951332-612: A few seconds, he finds them unsatisfying, as numbers are too easy to outwit. He enjoys crosswords far more, as one needs to comprehend how another person's mind works when actively trying to mislead. He has found great pleasure in the work of "The Blind Letter Office" at the Post Office, helping to decipher the nigh-illegible gibberish that some of Ankh-Morpork's less educated citizenry address their letters with – for example working out casually that "Duzbuns Hopsit pfarmarrsc" equals "K. Whistler, Baker, 3 Pigsty Hill" (Does Buns Opposite
1443-635: A lot of money. It has been suggested that Vetinari may not be entirely human, though this is primarily because of his methods and personality, as opposed to any sort of physical proof (although in The Fifth Elephant , Lady Margolotta was surprised at his lack of aging). Vetinari admits to being "drunk as a skunk" after a banquet at Unseen University, but continues to be startlingly lucid and eloquent, although Drumknott describes him as seeming "unusually talkative". The only discernible manifestation of his drunkenness: It takes him 15 seconds longer to solve
1554-464: A maker of "jolly good" pies; Juliet Stollop, a dim but beautiful young woman who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been; and the mysterious Mr Nutt, a cultured, enigmatic, idealistic savant . According to the publisher, Transworld, the "on sale" date for the hardback was 1 October 2009 although the official publication date is 8 October 2009. Bookshop chain Borders included
1665-689: A mother otter and its pups feeding on a salmon and its roes ( Unseen Academicals ). Lord Vetinari succeeded Mad Lord Snapcase , who had been as mad as the name suggests. One of Vetinari's earliest actions and a sample of his way of running the city was to legalize Guilds such as those of the Thieves and the " Seamstresses ", which had been active-but-outlawed for years. Their leaders became esteemed members of society and their members insured and licensed. Vetinari also made it clear to them that he knew everything about them, right down to where their wives had their hair done, and where their children played. Therefore,
1776-716: A phenomenal redevelopment project of Ankh Morpork titled "The Undertaking" – this seems to have been inspired by the discovery in Thud! of an ancient perpetual motion engine – a twin of one which according to Carrot Ironfoundersson powers all of the machinery in one of the largest mines in Uberwald. Rumours around the Undertaking include mention of "underground streets", "waterproof tunnels" and "new docks". Currently in his late forties/early fifties ( Sam Vimes noted in Feet of Clay that
1887-413: A remarkably skilled forger Owlswick Jenkins in the designing of unforgeable banknotes, although this was complicated when von Lipwig broke Jenkins out of prison for the same purpose. While he is just as unpopular as those that came before him, Lord Vetinari is very much sane, of sound mind and judgment, and very much still alive. He has achieved this by ensuring that even though all power-wielding groups in
1998-565: A sign saying, "Learn the Words". This tyrannical "quirk" has been met with either indifference or approval by average Ankh-Morpork citizens. Morporkians are in no doubt that Vetinari is firmly in charge of the city; the political system of Ankh-Morpork is described as "One Man, One Vote," in which Vetinari alone is the Man, and he has the Vote. In Going Postal , while Vetinari could have ordered an investigation of
2109-616: A small set of exclusive Discworld football cards with each book. The title is a play on the names of rugby and football teams in the UK who have or have had a connection to educational institutions, examples being Hamilton Academical and Edinburgh Academicals . The time in between the publication of Unseen Academicals and the previous Discworld entry, Making Money , was over 2 years, making it longest time between Discworld novels since 1983's The Colour of Magic and 1986's The Light Fantastic . However, it made up for this in part by being
2220-469: A snake". Additionally, Vetinari organizes grassroots resistance to himself, enabling him to ensure that all plots against him fail, and that the various groups are constantly quarrelling with each other. Vetinari has created (or at least continued, though he denies it) the use of a team of clerks, sometimes called the 'Dark Clerks', who bring him information on just about everything; they serve, among other functions, as accountants, forensic auditors , and
2331-417: A strange clock in his waiting-room. While it does keep completely accurate time overall, it sometimes ticks and tocks out of sync (example: "tick, tock ... ticktocktick, tock ...") and occasionally misses a tick or tock altogether, which has the net effect of turning one's brain "into a sort of porridge". ( Feet of Clay , Going Postal ). In Feet of Clay Vimes observes that it must have cost him quite
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#17328553490952442-497: A team made up of previously warring mob football teams including Dimwell and Dolly Sisters competing to prevent the more civilised game from becoming accepted. A proposed two-part television adaptation was to be produced by The Mob for broadcast on Sky1 (and in high definition on Sky1 HD ), with filming set to take place in 2011. It was to have been the fourth in a series of adaptations, following Hogfather , Colour of Magic , and Going Postal . However, by August 2012 it
2553-619: A title of the peerage in the United Kingdom , or are entitled to courtesy titles . The collective "Lords" can refer to a group or body of peers . According to the Oxford Dictionary of English , the etymology of the word can be traced back to the Old English word hlāford which originated from hlāfweard meaning "loaf-ward" or "bread-keeper", reflecting the Germanic tribal custom of
2664-489: A well-secured backup escape plan; during a conflict with the palace's snake and scorpion populations Vetinari provided them with military advice, allowing them to become the palace's dominant vermin. He is shot in the leg with a gonne and walks with an ebony cane ( Men at Arms ). It is rumoured that the cane held a sword that was made of iron from the blood of a thousand men, but this is revealed to be false ( Making Money ); as he says to Moist; "Oh, really. Do I look like
2775-406: Is "The Lord (X)": for example, Alfred Tennyson, 1st Baron Tennyson , can be referred to as "The Lord Tennyson", although the most common appellation is "Lord Tennyson". Marquesses, earls and viscounts are commonly also addressed as Lord. Dukes use the style "The Duke of (X)", and are not correctly referred to as "Lord (X)". Dukes are formally addressed as "Your Grace", rather than "My Lord". "Lord"
2886-593: Is a particle that generally accords respect to an addressee of higher status than the speaker. In the Yoruba language of West Africa, the words Olu and Oluwa are used in much the same way as the English term. Olodumare , the Yoruba conception of God Almighty , is often referred to using either of these two words. In the Yoruba chieftaincy system, meanwhile, the Oluwo of Iwo 's royal title translates to "Lord of Iwo". In Lagos ,
2997-468: Is a plain, simple sable shield, and therefore does not show up against the black coach in which Vetinari travels – black on black (upon which Moist von Lipwig in Going Postal comments that " you had to admit that the bastard had style "). His family motto is Si non confectus, non reficiat (If it ain't broke, don't fix it). Lord Vetinari lives and works in the Patrician's Palace , which used to be
3108-473: Is also at times been implied that he does it because it amuses him to do so, in the sense that he enjoys outwitting all the people who try to oppose him. He also has no exploitable vices, barring a strange fondness for candied jellyfish – mentioned in the early books but believed by some to be referring to a previous Patrician (see Bibliography ). Compared to the previous Patricians of the city, Vetinari appears to be remarkably normal. The only exception to this
3219-504: Is also derived from the middle English word 'Lard' also meaning 'Lord'. The word is generally used to refer to any owner of a landed estate and has no meaning in heraldic terms and its use is not controlled by the Lord Lyon . Lord is occasionally used as part of a substantive British noble title in its own right: In the Peerage of Scotland , the members of the lowest level of the peerage have
3330-422: Is also used as a courtesy title for younger sons of a British prince , duke, or marquesses, in the style "Lord (first name) (surname)". The eldest son of a peer would be entitled to use one of his father's subsidiary titles (if any). For example, Prince Edward, Duke of Kent holds the subsidiary title of Earl of St Andrews, which is used by his elder son George Windsor, Earl of St Andrews , while his younger son
3441-459: Is an excellent example of the adaptability which has kept Vetinari in office. At the time he rises to power, the Night Watch consists of three incompetents led by a drunk, just how he then wanted it (incapable of fighting crime, which was being efficiently controlled by the government-approved Thieves and Assassins Guilds). The group evolves into a large, efficient, well-oiled machine that facilitates
Lord Vetinari - Misplaced Pages Continue
3552-424: Is broadly tolerant of individual rights, but highly intolerant of people who place their own interests above those of the city. Beyond this, he arranges for useful but problematical people to "vanish" in one fashion or another. Leonard of Quirm (the Discworld's Leonardo da Vinci ) "vanished" and spends his time in an airy attic of the palace, quite happy to continue to invent in solitude and occasionally assisting when
3663-429: Is brought before "the Patrician" but it is not clear whether this Patrician is Vetinari or his predecessor, Mad Lord Snapcase, or possibly even Homicidal Lord Winder, although the description of this Patrician does not seem to tally with that of Vetinari, as the Patrician in question is, for example, described as obese – a trait his two predecessors did possess, but which he lacks. Pratchett has stated on Usenet that
3774-475: Is framed for assault (on Drumknott) and theft from the city treasury. Again, he comes a hair's breadth from being deposed ( The Truth ). He is "arrested" by his own Commander of the Watch ( Samuel Vimes ) for attempted murder, and spends part of the book incarcerated (although it is implied that this was done to keep Vetinari safe until the ultimate culprit was found, Commander Vimes suspecting something suspicious about
3885-474: Is his pathological hatred of street mime artists, but this is largely seen as an acceptable quirk. It was established in Guards!, Guards! that Vetinari can communicate with the palace rats. These rats have sentience because of the magic emanating from Unseen University . The rats are loyal to him because he provided them with military advice that, after a conflict with the snakes and scorpions that also inhabited
3996-480: Is known as the Grand Sneer (a parody of Grand Tour ); travels of the younger members of rich families to backward areas to see at first hand how inferior they are. There he met the vampire Lady Margolotta. It is implied that the two had some kind of relationship, and stated more clearly that he taught her a lot of what she knows, and vice versa. It was also there that he learnt about the nature of evil after witnessing
4107-514: Is now caring for another dog – "Mr. Fusspot", the former pet of the late Topsy Lavish (née Turvy), Chairwoman of the Royal Bank and Mint. Thanks to an unusual will and Topsy's contempt for her in-laws ; the rest of the Lavish family, Mr. Fusspot is formally and legally the current chairman. This leads to the debate whether this gives Vetinari control of the bank and mint, since Topsy's will states
4218-434: Is simply "lord of X", X being the name of the manor. The term "Lord of the Manor" is a recent usage of historians to distinguish such lords from feudal barons and other powerful persons referred to in ancient documents variously as "Sire" (mediaeval French), "Dominus" (Latin), "Lord" etc. The Scottish title Laird is a shortened form of 'laverd' which is an old Scottish word deriving from an Anglo-Saxon term meaning 'Lord' and
4329-511: Is styled Lord Nicholas Windsor . However, if the father has no subsidiary title, the older son will assume a courtesy title of "Lord (last name)", such as in the case of the Earl of Devon . As these forms of address are merely courtesy titles, the holder is not actually a member of the peerage and is not entitled to use the definite article "The" as part of the title. The upper house of the Parliament of
4440-478: Is the 37th novel in Terry Pratchett 's Discworld series. The novel satirises football, and features Mustrum Ridcully setting up an Unseen University football team, with the Librarian in goal. It includes new details about "below stairs" life at the university. The book introduces several new characters, including Trevor Likely, a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can; Glenda Sugarbean,
4551-490: Is very violent and deaths are common. Thus, in collaboration with the city's tyrant Lord Vetinari, they set out to make new 'official' football rules, based on translations of the rules from an ancient urn, which includes forbidding the use of hands and mandating the use of official footballs as opposed to the makeshift balls the street games use. With the prestige of UU under threat, the rise of Brazeneck College in Pseudopolis as
Lord Vetinari - Misplaced Pages Continue
4662-505: The Ankh-Morpork Times ' daily crossword ( Unseen Academicals ). He did keep a pet, a sixteen-year-old wire-haired terrier called Wuffles. It is said that Wuffles is the only living creature Lord Vetinari actually cares about (unless Ankh-Morpork is considered a living creature, to be thought of as " Morporkia ", a nod to " Britannia "). Wuffles has been described as very elderly in two books that take place many years apart. In
4773-857: The Commonwealth , bishops may be addressed as "My Lord" or "My Lord Bishop" or "Your Lordship", particularly on formal occasions. This usage is not restricted to those bishops who sit in the House of Lords . Indeed, by custom, it is not restricted to bishops of the Church of England but applies to bishops of the Church in Wales , the Scottish Episcopal Church , and the Roman Catholic Church , and may be applied (though less commonly) to bishops of other Christian denominations. It has become more common to use simply
4884-473: The Court of Appeal of England and Wales , are called "Lord Justice". Other Commonwealth judges, for example judges of Canadian provincial supreme courts, are known only as Justices but are addressed with deference in court as 'My Lord', 'My Lady', 'Your Lordship' or 'Your Ladyship'. Examples of judges who use the appellation "lord" include: The Board of Admiralty (1628–1964) was established in 1628 when Charles I put
4995-565: The Discworld ( The Last Hero ), as well as the metaphysical crises of Moving Pictures , Music With Rocks In ( Soul Music ), superfluous life force and belief ( Reaper Man , Hogfather ), and one major temporal shatter ( Thief of Time ). It is unclear whether even the well-informed Vetinari was aware of the last. Vetinari has encouraged the growth of the Guilds and public services. The Ankh-Morpork City Watch in particular has flourished, and
5106-425: The Discworld novels Sourcery , Guards! Guards! , Moving Pictures , Reaper Man , Men at Arms , Feet of Clay , Jingo , Interesting Times , Soul Music , The Fifth Elephant , The Truth , The Last Hero , Going Postal , Thud! , Making Money , Unseen Academicals , Snuff and Raising Steam . Night Watch features him in his youth. In The Colour of Magic , Rincewind
5217-511: The "Freedom to take the Consequences". In Going Postal , both Moist von Lipwig and Reacher Gilt were offered the chance to work for the city, but while von Lipwig accepted and was tasked with resurrecting the Postal Service, Reacher Gilt decided to choose the "freedom" of a door which turned out, when chosen, to open into a deep pit. In Making Money , Vetinari similarly enlists the services of
5328-640: The Admiralty ceased to exist, but the First, Second and Third Sea Lords retained their titles, despite ceasing to be Lords Commissioners of the Admiralty. To this day (2023) the first two senior officers of the Royal Navy are still known as First Sea Lord and Chief of the Naval Staff , and Second Sea Lord and Deputy Chief of Naval Staff . The Lords Commissioners were entitled collectively to be known as "The Right Honourable
5439-790: The Admiralty. With the abolition of the Board of Admiralty and its merger into the Ministry of Defence in 1964, formal control of the Navy was taken over by the Admiralty Board of the Defence Council of the United Kingdom, with the day-to-day running of the Navy taken over by the Navy Board. The office of Lord High Admiral was vested in the Crown (i.e. in the person of the current British monarch) and that of First Lord of
5550-461: The Ankh-Morpork government responsible for ensuring all figures of speech have a basis in fact, on the basis that people who seek this kind of employment must be kept busy, or else they just might do anything . Despite being technically a dictator , Lord Vetinari does not exercise the despotic rule that characterised some of his predecessors. Vetinari is the archetype of a benevolent dictator , in
5661-446: The City requires his genius (e.g. during the events of Jingo and The Last Hero ). He also recruits condemned criminals with useful skills and traits, arranging for their hanging by an expert hangman who knows exactly how much rope to give a man for them to survive and be enlisted for the good of the city. These are generally offered the choice to work for the city using their unique skills or
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#17328553490955772-703: The Crown (in reference to the Australian Monarchy) or the Commonwealth (in reference to the Australian Government). Lord is used as a generic term to denote members of the peerage . Five ranks of peer exist in the United Kingdom: in descending order these are duke , marquess , earl , viscount , and baron . The appellation "Lord" is used most often by barons, who are rarely addressed by their formal and legal title of "Baron". The most formal style
5883-536: The Disc's best pies . Juliet works for Glenda, has a crush on Trev (despite coming from families that support different teams), is simple and beautiful, and becomes a famous fashion model and the new face of dwarvish micromail (chainmail as soft as cloth). The four of them end up advising the wizards on their football endeavour. The novel culminates in an intense game between the Unseen Academicals and Ankh-Morpork United,
5994-525: The Grand Trunk company and their financial endeavours at any time, he did not do so until public opinion allowed it, and only then did he proclaim his right as a "tyrant" to launch such an inquiry. Also, in Making Money , he first appears to avoid meddling in the affairs of private business, but suddenly exercises his executive power in closing several prominent banks for audit at the end of the novel. Vetinari
6105-453: The Guilds did what he asked of them, and eventually, crime was not so much "eliminated" as organized . Nowadays, for a modest fee, an Ankh-Morpork citizen may walk the streets confident that he will not be mugged more than a few times per year, and will always receive a receipt. Lord Vetinari's political philosophy can be summed up by his belief that what people wish for most is not good government, or even justice, but merely for things to stay
6216-734: The House of Lords by virtue of holding life peerages. Most of them (those who were members of the Appellate Committee ) were known collectively as the Law Lords . All judges, including former Law Lords, lost the right to sit and vote in the House of Lords, despite retaining their life peerages, upon creation of the Supreme Court. The appellation "Lord", though not the style, is also used to refer to some judges in certain Commonwealth legal systems, who are not peers. Some such judges, for instance judges of
6327-490: The Lords Commissioners of the Admiralty", and were commonly referred to collectively as "Their Lordships" or "My Lords Commissioners of the Admiralty", though individual members were not entitled to these styles. More informally, they were known in short as "The Lords of the Admiralty". The Lords of the Admiralty are not peers. In Great Britain and Ireland , and in most countries that are members or former members of
6438-559: The Manor" is still recognised by the British Government for any such title registered at His Majesty's Land Registry before 13 October 2003 (the commencement date of the Land Registration Act 2002) but after that date titles can no longer be registered, and any such titles voluntarily de-registered by the holder cannot later be re-registered. However any transfer of ownership of registered manors will continue to be recorded in
6549-555: The Oluwa of Lagos is one of that kingdom's most powerful chiefs. English -speakers use the word "Lord" (generally with an initial upper-case letter) as a title of deference for various gods or deities. The earliest recorded use of "Lord" in the English language in a religious context occurred in the work of English writers such as Bede ( c. 673 – 735). However, Bede wrote in Latin ( Michael Lapidge describes him as "without question
6660-442: The Patrician in this case is indeed Vetinari, and that he simply lost weight due to the stress of his job. Upon being pressed, he admitted that the only real difference is that he has become a better writer since that time. It is also a reflection of the fact that the Discworld timeline is extremely uncertain. Vetinari was played by Crawford Logan in the 1992 BBC Radio 4 adaptation of Guards! Guards! . In television adaptations,
6771-474: The Patrician was about the same age as he was, and it is shown in Night Watch that he was a licensed student Assassin , making him 17 at the time of the main events of the book, when Vimes was 16), Lord Vetinari is tall, thin and dresses all in dusty black, including a black skullcap. In Reaper Man , Mustrum Ridcully likens his appearance to a predatory flamingo , if one existed. His family coat of arms
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#17328553490956882-417: The Patrician, and Vimes, while adamant that he doesn't , shares the dedication to the city felt by Vetinari and Ironfoundersson. The Assassins' Guild no longer accepts contracts on the Patrician – he is the only person besides Samuel Vimes to have been taken off the register. He had the highest "official" price for a living being ever: 1 Million Ankh-Morpork Dollars ( Men at Arms ). In Thud! , his rule of
6993-597: The Pharmacy). The men employed for this job are successful in 'translating' five addresses out of every six, and view Vetinari's casual skill at it with something approaching awe. He is also very good at Thud, also known in the books by its Dwarvish name Hnaflbaflsniflwhifltafl (a reference to the Germanic-Scandinavian Tafl games , specifically Hnefatafl ), and plays it to find his own weaknesses unlike other people (Reacher Gilt, Going Postal ) who play Thud to find
7104-895: The Royal Winter Palace. He sits on a plain wooden chair at the feet of the Golden Throne of Ankh (much like the Steward of Gondor in The Lord of the Rings ). The Throne remains untouched despite being allegedly made of gold, but Vetinari reveals to Captain Carrot that it is actually merely gold foil over rotten-through wood. He accepts interviews in the Oblong Office (a reference to the White House 's Oval Office ). Notably he does not request, or even demand
7215-435: The United Kingdom is the House of Lords , which is an abbreviation of the full title, "The Right Honourable the Lords Spiritual and Temporal in Parliament Assembled". The Lords Temporal are the people who are entitled to receive writs of summons to attend the House of Lords in right of a peerage. The Lords Spiritual are the Archbishops of Canterbury and York , the Bishops of London , Winchester and Durham , and
7326-408: The book for his site Boing Boing , Cory Doctorow praised Pratchett's ability to make him like this novel despite his lack of interest in football and rated it one of his top five Discworld novels, while cautioning that the book, unlike previous works, requires the reader to be familiar with the characters and setting. The Guardian 's Harry Ritchie also favourably reviewed the novel, highlighting
7437-443: The ceiling (a play on the Star Chamber and the German Ratskammer , which translates as "council chamber"). Occupants report that spending any time in the room makes one want to leave and go have a good long bath. His bedroom is spartan; containing little more than a narrow bed and a few battered cupboards. He apparently requires so little sleep and gets up so early that going to bed is merely an excuse to change his clothes (" He has
7548-422: The character has been portrayed by several actors: Jeremy Irons in TV movie adaptation of Colour of Magic , Charles Dance in the TV movie adaptation of Going Postal , and Anna Chancellor in the television series The Watch . In the video game Discworld Noir , his voice was performed by Rob Brydon . Pratchett's own choice of actor to play Vetinari was Alan Rickman . VLC media player version 3.0
7659-407: The city dislike him, they dislike each other even more. He also carefully arranges matters so that a reality which includes him as Patrician is slightly better than one which does not, with the result being that there are only two people who may potentially benefit from his death: Carrot Ironfoundersson and Samuel Vimes who are claimants to the extant throne of Ankh along with their associates, on
7770-489: The city is likened to a room full of tension, with people bickering and shouting at one another, and "in the middle of it all, one man, quietly doing his own thing". Other reasons for the Patrician's continued rule include his mastery of diplomacy and manipulation, his distant and menacing air, his ever-present calmness and composure (which, ironically, make other people ill at ease), and his skills as an Assassin; in The Truth , another character relates that "Vetinari moved like
7881-420: The classical arts and, in flagrant defiance of the Guild's conventions of style, camouflage , though he failed his stealth examination (due to the examiner's belief that he had never attended any of his classes). However, Lord Vetinari claimed that he religiously attended his classes, pointing out that in a class on an inherently discreet occupation, he was the only student that wasn't visibly present. Because of
7992-421: The concern for the city's welfare he later shows. Later, he fought alongside the remnants of the Night Watch commanded, for want of better, by Sergeant-at-Arms Samuel Vimes (who had travelled backwards through time and was at time going by the name "John Keel", having to serve as mentor to his younger self, who was already serving as a probationary Constable; the real John Keel had been murdered by Carcer Dunn,
8103-573: The conspiracy behind the method. During the brief war with Klatch, Vetinari unexpectedly surrenders unconditionally to martial law. When the island which is both the cause of controversy and the location set for the signing of the surrender treaty sinks into the ocean (again), all the terms of surrender are called off and the Klatchian leader loses face (and his throne), which was Vetinari's plan all along. He ends up being congratulated instead of being deposed and exiled ( Jingo ). Some time later, Vetinari
8214-607: The dungeons, allowed them to become the dominant vermin of the palace. During his imprisonment, as seen in the book, the rats have trouble with specific wording and Vetinari ends up with a book on lace-making in place of the one he desires. He takes the opportunity to learn lace construction anyway, on the principle that one never knows when such a thing may be useful. Though he excels at the Discworld's equivalent of sudoku , Jikan no Muda ( 時間 の 無駄 ; literally, " Waste of Time " in Japanese ), and can solve them after glancing at any grid for
8325-429: The entire scenario), feigning unconsciousness throughout the main events, only to "come to" once the mystery was solved. William de Worde works out that it was a plot using a body double for Vetinari. He first becomes suspicious when it occurs to him that if Vetinari had wanted Drumknott dead, Drumknott would undoubtedly be dead. There have also been numerous attempts on his life by assassins retained by other parties;
8436-414: The faculty of Unseen University discover that they must, as per tradition, play a game of football , in exchange for their large financial endowment from the late Archchancellor Preserved Bigger. If not, they will lose 87.4% of the university's food bill, and be forced to have (only) three meals a day. The wizards soon learn that the local version of football (similar to the actual game of mob football )
8547-516: The first efficient international communication service from its headquarters there ( The Fifth Elephant ). More recently, he has put into place Moist von Lipwig , who revamps the postal service without costing the taxpayers anything ( Going Postal ). During this, he invents stamps, which are the closest thing Ankh-Morpork had to banknotes until said form of currency makes its debut in Making Money (again by von Lipwig). At some point between Thud! and Making Money , Vetinari begins planning for
8658-475: The grounds that they would be 'on top of the pile' if the city collapsed, as the city's rightful heir to the throne and the highest ranking noble respectively. Carrot Ironfoundersson and Samuel Vimes are the captain and commander of the City Watch , and hence are opposed to any kind of coup as part of their dedication to the rule of law. Ironfoundersson is noted by Vimes to be one of the few people who actually likes
8769-409: The highly stratified feudal social system. For example, a man might be lord of the manor to his own tenants but also a vassal of his own overlord, who in turn was a vassal of the King. Where a knight was a lord of the manor, he was referred to in contemporary documents as "John (Surname), knight, lord of (manor name)". A feudal baron was a true titular dignity, with the right to attend Parliament, but
8880-412: The inside . All that is found on the outside is a single lock, a key to which Vetinari had hidden in the cell. He has two mottos a ruler should remember when building dungeons: "Never build a dungeon you wouldn't want to spend the night in yourself", and, "Never build a dungeon you can't get out of". The collection of sentient, loyal rats with access to the dungeons, and much of the palace itself, provides
8991-606: The latter. As of December 2016, 92 Lords Temporal sit in the House in right of hereditary peerages (that being the maximum number allowed under the House of Lords Act 1999 ) and 19 sit in right of judicial life peerages under the Appellate Jurisdiction Act 1876 . The rest are life peers under the Life Peerages Act 1958 . Until the creation of the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom (2009), certain judges sat in
9102-550: The longest Discworld novel, 25 000 words longer than any other book in the series. Between 1986 and 2007, at least one Discworld novel was published every year. This delay was in part due to Pratchett's Alzheimer's diagnosis, which led to a great deal of his time being taken up with interviews and public advocacy. After the centennial Hunting of the Megapode (a satirisation of the Mallard ceremony performed at All Souls College, Oxford ),
9213-464: The manor of lands they have inherited. The UK Identity and Passport Service will include such titles on a British passport as an "observation" (e.g., 'The Holder is the Lord of the Manor of X'), provided the holder can provide documentary evidence of ownership. The United States forbids the use of all titles on passports. Australia forbids the use of titles on passports if those titles have not been awarded by
9324-787: The modern French Monsieur , derives directly from the Latin seniorem , meaning "elder, senior". From this Latin source derived directly also the Italian Signore , the Spanish Señor , the Portuguese Senhor . Non- Romance languages have their own equivalents. Of the Germanic family there is the Dutch Meneer/Mijnheer/De Heer (as in: aan de heer Joren Jansen ), German Herr , and Danish Herre . All three of these stem from
9435-482: The most accomplished Latinist produced in these islands in the Anglo-Saxon period" ). He used an Anglo-Saxon phrase that indicated a noble, prince, ruler or lord to refer to God ; however, he applied this as a gloss to the Latin text that he was producing, and not as a clear translation of the term itself. "Lord", as a gloss to Old English dryhten , meant "royal", "ruler", "prince", or "noble", and did not indicate
9546-506: The noble and the religious senses. Its root, ginoo , is also found in Visayan languages like Cebuano as the term for "lord". Ginoo is also the Tagalog root for Ginoóng , the modern equivalent of the English term " Mister " (akin to how Romance language terms like señor may be glossed as either "lord", "mister", or "sir"). Ilocano meanwhile employs Apo for "Lord" in religious contexts; it
9657-436: The novel Making Money , it is shown that Wuffles has, at some recent point, died; reinforcing Vetinari's affection for the dog is the rumour that every week he makes a short (and via a different path) walk to Wuffles' small grave in the palace grounds, every time leaving a dog biscuit, though this may be entirely untrue, or may simply be done to add a layer of apparent human weakness to those seeking one. As of Making Money he
9768-596: The office of Lord High Admiral into commission. The title Naval Lord to the Board of Admiralty was first used around the 1600s. These were a body of Senior Admirals, first called Naval Lord Commissioners, then Naval Lords then Professional Naval Lords then Sea Lords. The President of the Board was known as the First Lord of the Admiralty (with the other five Naval appointments being the Second Sea Lord, Third Sea Lord, etc. sequentially), or sometimes First Lord Commissioner of
9879-639: The one word " Bishop ". In the United States, bishops are addressed as "Excellency". Various other high offices of state in the United Kingdom, Commonwealth and Republic of Ireland are prefixed with the deferential appellation of "lord". These include: Holders of these offices are not ex officio peers, although the holders of some of the offices were in the past always peers. In most cultures in Europe an equivalent appellation denoting deference exists. The French term Mon Seigneur ("My Lord"), shortened to
9990-417: The opponent's weaknesses. The New Discworld Companion also mentions his mastery of Stealth Chess , a game commonly played by assassins' guild students and alumni. In Soul Music , Vetinari is mentioned as preferring to read sheet music rather than listen to music, because the idea of it being performed by people, with all the sweat and saliva involved, strikes him as distasteful. Lord Vetinari also has
10101-549: The person caring for Mr. Fusspot is also the executor of "the chairman's" wishes for both concerns. The authority rested in Moist von Lipwig, the current Master of the Mint and temporary caretaker of Mr. Fusspot before Vetinari adopted / seized / confiscated the dog. There has been concern over the quality of Vetinari's care of the dog, though no one wishes to risk raising the issue with him. Lord Vetinari makes featured appearances in
10212-500: The presence of any of his citizens, but merely has them informed that they " have an appointment with him ", and they are promptly escorted to said appointment. When Vetinari considers the meeting ended, he usually dismisses his visitors with the phrase " don't let me detain you ", the inherent implication being that he just might if they let him. He holds meetings in the Rats Chamber, so named because of its fresco of dancing rats on
10323-419: The purchaser the impression of a physical existence. Whether a title of "Lord of the Manor" is registered or unregistered has no effect on its legal validity or existence, which is a matter of law to be determined by the courts. Modern legal cases have been won by persons claiming rights as lords of the manor over village greens . The heads of many ancient English land-owning families have continued to be lords of
10434-416: The register, on the appropriate notification. Thus in effect the register is closed for new registrations. Such titles are legally classified as "incorporeal hereditaments" as they have no physical existence, and usually have no intrinsic value. However a lucrative market arose in the 20th century for such titles, often for purposes of vanity, which was assisted by the existence of an official register, giving
10545-400: The reliability of Pratchett's comedy, especially the figures of speech he regularly used such as a kiss sounding like "a tennis ball being sucked through the strings of a racket". Peter Ingam, writing for The Telegraph , opined that the quality of Pratchett's writing and humour remained as high as ever. Matt Barber, reviewing the book for Den of Geek , concluded that Unseen Academicals
10656-435: The room, save Winder (though it was hinted that the party was arranged for the very purpose of facilitating the occasion of Winder's assassination). Vetinari appeared in full Assassin regalia, which Winder regarded as something out of a nightmare. When asked (as was traditional) about who he is and who sent him, he replies, respectively, "Think of me as ... your future" and "I come from the city" showing that he already has
10767-552: The same; the Vetinari family motto is, after all, Si non confectus, non reficiat ("If it ain't broke, don't fix it"). This does not mean that there are absolutely no changes; however, things that don't work are fixed very quickly, even if it does not look like they are at first. In Soul Music , Mr. Clete expresses a belief that "things that didn't work ... got broken". Perhaps in conjunction with this, Vetinari has an interest in keeping things in smooth, simple working order. For example, Vetinari still maintains an ancient department of
10878-455: The similarity his name bore to "veterinary", he endured the nickname of Dog-botherer (cf. god-botherer ). Vetinari graduated from the Guild with exceptional marks, scoring disconcertingly high in attention to detail. It is also mentioned that he studied languages; in Jingo he translates Klatchian for Sergeant Colon, although he flatly denies being able to speak it. In his late teens, Vetinari
10989-509: The smooth operation of the city, and that appears to be just how he wants it. It is observed to him on one occasion that if Vimes (and presumably Vimes' Guards) did not exist, he would have had to invent him; to which he responds "You know, ... I rather think I did" ( Feet of Clay ) . Ankh-Morpork has given birth to the first newspaper, the Ankh-Morpork Times ( The Truth ), while the Grand Trunk Clacks Company established
11100-557: The substantive title " Lord of Parliament " rather than Baron. The heir to the throne in Scotland holds the title Lord of the Isles . In England, the title Lord of the Isle of Wight used to exist but fell out of use before the creation of the modern peerage system. The British sovereign is also accorded the title Lord of Mann as head of state of the Isle of Mann. The feudal title of "Lord of
11211-522: The twenty-one longest-serving bishops of the Church of England from among the other bishops (plus some female bishops of shorter service in consequence of the Lords Spiritual (Women) Act 2015 ), who are all entitled to receive writs of summons in right of their bishoprics or archbishoprics. The Lords Temporal greatly outnumber the Lords Spiritual, there being nearly 800 of the former and only 26 of
11322-535: The universal failure of these attempts (as well as the insight that the city ruled by him is slightly better than it is without him) leads to the Assassins Guild's refusal to accept further contracts on Vetinari ( Night Watch ). Vetinari has seen Ankh-Morpork through many unusual events, including the appearance of a Sourcerer ( Sourcery ), a dragon ( Guards! Guards! ), a near- civil war ( Men at Arms ), plus one actual war ( Jingo ) and an attempt to destroy
11433-499: The university's team for the big match. Trev Likely, who is Mr. Nutt's coworker and best friend, is the son of Ankh-Morpork's most famous deceased footballer Dave Likely (who had scored a record of four goals throughout his entire career), but has promised his (late) dear old mum that he won't play, but ultimately saves the game. Glenda is a friend of Mr. Nutt and Trev, runs the Unseen University Night Kitchen, and bakes
11544-418: Was a person from whom a landholding or a manor was held by a mesne lord or vassal under various forms of feudal land tenure . The modern term " landlord " is a vestigial survival of this function. A liege lord was a person to whom a vassal owed sworn allegiance. Neither of these terms were titular dignities, but rather factual appellations, which described the relationship between two or more persons within
11655-505: Was born into the extremely powerful Vetinari family (a pun on the real-life family of the Medici and on the word " veterinary ") and raised by his aunt, Lady Roberta Meserole. As a youth, he enrolled in the Assassins' Guild which, apart from teaching its students how to kill other people for money, also gives them an excellent academic education . Lord Vetinari was particularly interested in
11766-406: Was briefly turned into a lizard by a wizard under the influence of a Sourcerer . He was deposed for a time in favour of a pretender king and subsequently a summoned dragon ( Guards! Guards! ) and locked up in his own dungeons from which he is able to escape at his leisure. As seen by Vimes, the door to his cell is very large and heavy, and is absolutely covered in bars, bolts and locks – on
11877-473: Was given the codename Vetinari. Vetinari was included in a list of the top ten Discworld characters by The Daily Telegraph in 2013; Tim Martin describes the character as "The kind of benign despot who would make Machiavelli faint with fear and envy". Lord Lord is an appellation for a person or deity who has authority , control, or power over others, acting as a master, chief, or ruler. The appellation can also denote certain persons who hold
11988-497: Was involved in the "Glorious 25th of May" ( Night Watch ), to which his most notable contribution was the non-assassination of the then-Patrician of Ankh-Morpork , Homicidal Lord Winder , at a crowded party. Vetinari was present at Winder's death, but although he certainly intended to assassinate Winder, his mere arrival was enough to frighten Winder to death. Vetinari was able to drop his bloodless sword beside Winder's corpse, unused, and leave – all seemingly unobserved by anyone in
12099-425: Was reported that The Mob's option for the rights was not renewed. It was announced by Discworld Monthly on 29 May 2018 that Audible has created an Audio Dramatisation of Unseen Academicals. The adaptation has been directed by Dirk Maggs , and the cast includes Josie Lawrence , Matthew Horne , Tony Gardner , and Phil Davis amongst others. It will be available to purchase on Audible from 2 July 2018 Reviewing
12210-400: Was still young, and, according to his aunt, took things much less seriously than his son does. Vetinari has no lust for power; though he freely admits that he is a tyrant like his predecessors, he has skilfully arranged matters to ensure that the public prefers his particular form of tyranny over any other. The sole reason for his ruling the city is that he is fiercely loyal to it, although it
12321-447: Was the lord of the manorial court which determined the rules and laws which were to govern all the inhabitants and property covered by the jurisdiction of the court. To the tenants of a certain class of manor known in Saxon times as Infangenthef their lord was a man who had the power of exercising capital punishment over them. The term invariably used in contemporary mediaeval documents
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