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62-451: Lover or lovers may refer to a person having a sexual or romantic relationship with someone outside marriage. In this context see: Lover or Lovers may also refer to: Sexual relationship An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional or physical closeness between people and may include sexual intimacy and feelings of romance or love. Intimate relationships are interdependent , and

124-467: A committed relationship met their partner online. However, there remains skepticism about the effectiveness and safety of dating apps due to their potential to facilitate dating violence . Once an intimate relationship has been initiated, the relationship changes and develops over time, and the members may engage in commitment agreements and maintenance behaviors. In an ongoing relationship, couples must navigate protecting their own self-interest alongside

186-442: A conversation partner is perceived as responsive and reciprocates self-disclosure, and people tend to like others who disclose emotional information to them. Other strategies used in the relationship formation stage include humor, initiating physical touch, and signaling availability and interest through eye contact, flirtatious body language, or playful interactions. Engaging in dating , courtship , or hookup culture as part of

248-436: A culturally appropriate communication style influences anticipated relationship satisfaction. Culture can also impact expectations within a relationship and the relative importance of various relationship-centered values such as emotional closeness, equity, status, and autonomy. While love has been identified as a universal human emotion , the ways love is expressed and its importance in intimate relationships vary based on

310-979: A few common differences between same-sex and different-sex intimacy. In the relationship formation period, the boundaries between friendship and romantic intimacy may be more nuanced and complex among sexual minorities. For instance, many lesbian women report that their romantic relationships developed from an existing friendship. Certain relationship maintenance practices also differ. While heterosexual relationships might rely on traditional gender roles to divide labor and decision-making power, same-sex couples are more likely to divide housework evenly. Lesbian couples report lower frequency of sex compared to heterosexual couples, and gay men are more likely to engage in non-monogamy . Same-sex relationships face unique challenges with regards to stigma, discrimination , and social support . As couples cope with these obstacles, relationship quality can be negatively affected. Unsupportive policy environments such as same-sex marriage bans have

372-410: A friendship. Among scholars, the definition of an intimate relationship is diverse and evolving. Some reserve the term for romantic relationships, whereas other scholars include friendship and familial relationships . In general, an intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship in which physically or emotionally intimate experiences occur repeatedly over time. Interpersonal attraction

434-418: A greater variety of shared activities with partners, and feelings of autonomy and personal growth. Reciprocal liking Studies in psychology show that people tend to like the people that like them. For example, in an early psychological study the participants subtly found out that a stranger liked them. Elliot Aronson and Phillip Worchel conducted the study, which required pairs of participants to have

496-637: A healthy intimate relationship. Couples with lower socioeconomic status are at risk for experiencing increased rates of dissolution and lower relationship satisfaction. Infidelity and sex outside a monogamous relationship are behaviors that are commonly disapproved of, a frequent source of conflict, and a cause of relationship dissolution. Low relationship satisfaction may cause people to desire physical or emotional connection outside their primary relationship. However, people with more sexual opportunities, greater interest in sex, and more permissive attitudes toward sex are also more likely to engage in infidelity. In

558-401: A healthy relationship. Rather than spending energy investing in the relationship through shared activities, sex and physical intimacy, and healthy communication, couples under stress are forced to use their psychological resources to manage other pressing issues. Low socioeconomic status is a particularly salient stressful context that constrains an individual's ability to invest in maintaining

620-437: A negative impact on well-being, while being out as a couple and living in a place with legal same-sex relationship recognition have a positive impact on individual and couple well-being. Some asexual people engage in intimate relationships that are solely emotionally intimate, but other asexual people's relationships involve sex as part of negotiations with non-asexual partners. A 2019 study of sexual minority individuals in

682-415: A partner (or potential mate) who displays indicators of good physical health. Yet, there is also evidence that couples in committed intimate relationships tend to match each other in physical attractiveness, and are rated as similarly physically attractive by both the members of the couple and by outside observers. An individual's perception of their own attractiveness may therefore influence who they see as

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744-641: A realistic partner. Beyond physical appearance, people report desirable qualities they look for in a partner such as trustworthiness, warmth, and loyalty. However, these romantic ideals are not necessarily good predictors of actual attraction or relationship success. Research has found little evidence for the success of matching potential partners based on personality traits, suggesting that romantic chemistry involves more than compatibility of traits. Rather, repeated positive interactions between people and reciprocity of romantic interest seem to be key components in attraction and relationship formation. Reciprocal liking

806-511: A relationship include justifying the decision, apologizing, avoiding contact ( ghosting ), or suggesting a "break" period before revisiting the decision. The dissolution of an intimate relationship is a stressful event that can have a negative impact on well-being, and the rejection can elicit strong feelings of embarrassment , sadness , and anger . Following a relationship breakup, individuals are at risk for anxiety, depressive symptoms, problematic substance use, and low self-esteem . However,

868-749: A relationship often involves an evaluation of levels of satisfaction and commitment in the relationship. Relationship factors such as increased commitment and feelings of love are associated with lower chances of breakup, whereas feeling ambivalent about the relationship and perceiving many alternatives to the current relationship are associated with increased chances of dissolution. Specific individual characteristics and traits put people at greater risk for experiencing relationship dissolution. Individuals high in neuroticism (the tendency to experience negative emotions) are more prone to relationship dissolution, and research also shows small effects of attachment avoidance and anxiety in predicting breakup. Being married at

930-762: A relationship. Individuals vary in attachment anxiety (the degree to which they worry about abandonment) and avoidance (the degree to which they avoid emotional closeness). Research shows that insecure attachment orientations that are high in avoidance or anxiety are associated with experiencing more frequent negative emotions in intimate relationships. Individuals high in attachment anxiety are particularly prone to jealousy and experience heightened distress about whether their partner will leave them. Highly anxious individuals also perceive more conflict in their relationships and are disproportionately negatively affected by those conflicts. In contrast, avoidantly attached individuals may experience fear of intimacy or be dismissive of

992-768: A role in reciprocal liking. People from different cultures can experience and understand different effects of reciprocal liking since some people take in verbal or non-verbal communication differently due to their cultural backgrounds. In high-context cultures (HCC) and low-context cultures (LCC), this can have an impact on how people perceive others depending on a number of factors to do with how they grew up. In HCCs, such as China and Korea, people tend to use vague and ambiguous language, while in LCCs people will be clear and direct in their communication. These two types of cultures can have an effect on reciprocal liking because if one person from each of these two cultures were to be conversing,

1054-490: A significant impact on the frequency and mannerisms of reciprocal liking. While those with positive self-esteem respond to reciprocal liking, those with negative self-esteem seem to prefer working with people who are critical of them. Nathaniel Branden stated that "self-esteem creates a set of implicit expectations about what is possible and appropriate to us", and further said that "one's reality confirms and strengthens one's original belief". This explains why self-esteem plays

1116-421: A simple conversation with one another. After the conversation, they privately rated how much they liked their partners. However, one of the individuals in each of the pairs was not actually part of the experiment, but instead was someone working with the researchers, acting as if they were a participant. Each conversation in the study occurred between a real participant and a trained actor. After their conversation,

1178-478: A stimulus compared to participants who view the photo of a stranger. In another laboratory study, women who received a text message from their partner showed reduced cardiovascular response to the Trier Social Stress Test , a stress-inducing paradigm. Disagreements within intimate relationships are a stressful event, and the strategies couples use to navigate conflict impact the quality and success of

1240-679: A variety of risk factors for and types of perpetrators of intimate partner violence. Individuals who are exposed to violence or experience abuse in childhood are more likely to become perpetrators or victims of intimate partner violence as adults as part of the intergenerational cycle of violence . Perpetrators are also more likely to be aggressive, impulsive, prone to anger, and may show pathological personality traits such as antisocial and borderline traits. Patriarchal cultural scripts that depict men as aggressive and dominant may be an additional risk factor for men engaging in violence toward an intimate partner, although violence by female perpetrators

1302-501: A younger age, having lower income, lower educational attainment, and cohabiting before marriage are also associated with risk of divorce and relationship dissolution. These characteristics are not necessarily the inherent causes of dissolution. Rather, they are traits that impact the resources that individuals are able to draw upon to work on their relationships as well as reflections of social and cultural attitudes toward relationship institutions and divorce. Common strategies for ending

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1364-665: Is a powerful facilitator for formation of relationships because it allows people to get to know each other through repeated interactions. Intimate partners commonly meet at college or school, as coworkers, as neighbors, at bars, or through religious community. Speed dating , matchmakers , and online dating services are more structured formats used to begin relationships. The internet in particular has significantly changed how intimate relationships begin as it allows people to access potential partners beyond their immediate proximity. In 2023, Pew Research Center found that 53% of people under 30 have used online dating, and one in ten adults in

1426-403: Is a process in which two people interact, one person transmits verbal, visual, or other stimuli, and on the other hand, the other person responds more or less positively to the stimuli. Reciprocal liking can affect our choice of whom we have relationships with, including romantic, sexual, and platonic . According to the reciprocity principle, people tend to favor the potential partners who return

1488-422: Is a stressful process, people are generally biased toward making decisions that uphold and further facilitate intimate relationships. These biases can lead to distortions in the evaluation of a relationship. For instance, people in committed relationships tend to dismiss and derogate attractive alternative partners, thereby validating the decision to remain with their more attractive partner. The decision to leave

1550-870: Is also a well-documented phenomenon and research finds other contextual and demographic characteristics to be more salient risks factors. Contextual factors such as high levels of stress can also contribute to risk of violence. Within the relationship, high levels of conflict and disagreements are associated with intimate partner violence, particularly for people who react to conflict with hostility. Cultural context has influence in many domains within intimate relationships including norms in communication, expression of affection, commitment and marriage practices, and gender roles . For example, cross-cultural research finds that individuals in China prefer indirect and implicit communication with their romantic partner, whereas European Americans report preferring direct communication. The use of

1612-520: Is also an important factor for individuals reciprocally liking each other. Goals of personal fulfillment and emotional intimacy in relationships are often a principal in independent cultures. An example of this may be that love should be the primary basis for two people to get married. The ethic of reciprocal liking is adopted by nearly every major religion, and if this were to stop human culture would not be able to prosper because people routinely exchange goods, services, and other things with one another. On

1674-492: Is associated lower risk of mortality and relationship quality impacts inflammatory responses such as cytokine expression and intracellular signaling . Furthermore, intimate partners are an important source of social support for encouraging healthy behaviors such as increasing physical activity and quitting smoking. Sexual activity and other forms of physical intimacy also contribute positively to physical health, while conflict between intimate partners negatively impacts

1736-475: Is attracted to them can induce this reciprocal interest. Reciprocal liking can be indicated non-verbally, such as through body languages (for example maintaining eye contact or leaning forward). Reciprocal liking and desirability of a person appear to be the most influential when falling in love. Aron et Al (1989) reported that in their sample of Canadian college students who recently fell in love, approximately 90% of them mentioned some indicator of thinking that

1798-456: Is closely tied to overall relationship satisfaction. Sex promotes intimacy, increases happiness, provides pleasure, and reduces stress. Studies show that couples who have sex at least once per week report greater well-being than those who have sex less than once per week. Research in human sexuality finds that the ingredients of high quality sex include feeling connected to your partner, good communication, vulnerability, and feeling present in

1860-464: Is most meaningful when it is displayed by someone who is selective about who they show liking to. When potential intimate partners are getting to know each other, they employ a variety of strategies to increase closeness and gain information about whether the other person is a desirable partner. Self-disclosure , the process of revealing information about oneself, is a crucial aspect of building intimacy between people. Feelings of intimacy increase when

1922-444: Is often a key component of romantic intimate relationships. Physical touch is correlated with relationship satisfaction and feelings of love . While many intimate relationships include a physical or sexual component, the potential to be sexual is not a requirement for the relationship to be intimate. For example, a queerplatonic relationship is a non-romantic intimate relationship that involves commitment and closeness beyond that of

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1984-460: Is the foundation of first impressions between potential intimate partners. Relationship scientists suggest that the romantic spark, or "chemistry", that occurs between people is a combination of physical attraction, personal qualities, and a build-up of positive interactions between people. Researchers find physical attractiveness to be the largest predictor of initial attraction. From an evolutionary perspective, this may be because people search for

2046-537: Is ultimately tied to increased likelihood of relationship dissolution or divorce. Violence within an intimate relationship can take the form of physical , psychological , financial , or sexual abuse . The World Health Organization estimates that 30% of women have experienced physical or sexual violence perpetrated by an intimate partner. The strong emotional attachment, investment, and interdependence that characterizes close relationships can make it difficult to leave an abusive relationship. Research has identified

2108-660: Is wide social and cultural variability in the norms and practices of intimacy between people. The course of an intimate relationship includes a formation period prompted by interpersonal attraction and a growing sense of closeness and familiarity. Intimate relationships evolve over time as they are maintained, and members of the relationship may become more invested in and committed to the relationship. Healthy intimate relationships are beneficial for psychological and physical well-being and contribute to overall happiness in life. However, challenges including relationship conflict, external stressors, insecurity, and jealousy can disrupt

2170-527: The United States found that while asexual individuals were less likely to have recently had sex, they did not differ from non-asexual participants in rates of being in an intimate relationship. Asexual individuals face stigma and the pathologization of their sexual orientation, and report difficulty navigating assumptions about sexuality in the dating scene. Various terms including " queerplatonic relationship " and "squish" (a non-sexual crush) have been used by

2232-412: The United States, research has found that between 15 and 25% of adults report ever cheating on a partner. When one member of a relationship violates agreements of sexual or emotional exclusivity, the foundation of trust in the primary relationship is negatively impacted, and individuals may experience depression , low self-esteem , and emotional dysregulation in the aftermath of an affair . Infidelity

2294-791: The asexual community to describe non-sexual intimate relationships and desires. Non-monogamy, including polyamory , open relationships , and swinging , is the practice of engaging in intimate relationships that are not strictly monogamous, or consensually engaging in multiple physically or emotionally intimate relationships. The degree of emotional and physical intimacy between different partners can vary. For example, swinging relationships are primarily sexual, whereas people in polyamorous relationships might engage in both emotional and physical intimacy with multiple partners. Individuals in consensually non-monogamous intimate relationships identify several benefits to their relationship configuration including having their needs met by multiple partners, engaging in

2356-465: The birth of a child can drastically change the relationship and necessitate adaptation and new approaches to maintaining intimacy. The transition to parenthood can be a stressful period that is generally associated with a temporary decrease in healthy relationship functioning and a decline in sexual intimacy. As a relationship develops, intimate partners often engage in commitment agreements, ceremonies, and behaviors to signal their intention to remain in

2418-430: The conflict, which can be a reflection of insecure attachment orientation and previous negative relationship experiences. When conflicts go unresolved, relationship satisfaction is negatively impacted. Constructive conflict resolution strategies include validating the other person's point of view and concerns, expressing affection, using humor, and active listening. However, the effectiveness of these strategies depend on

2480-789: The culture within which a relationship takes place. Culture is especially salient in structuring beliefs about institutions that recognize intimate relationships such as marriage . The idea that love is necessary for marriage is a strongly held belief in the United States, whereas in India, a distinction is made between traditional arranged marriages and " love marriages " (also called personal choice marriages). Advances in legal relationship recognition for same-sex couples have helped normalize and legitimize same-sex intimacy. Broadly, same-sex and different-sex intimate relationships do not differ significantly, and couples report similar levels of relationship satisfaction and stability. However, research supports

2542-583: The immune and endocrine systems and can increase blood pressure. Laboratory experiments show evidence for the association between support from intimate partners and physical health. In a study assessing recovery from wounds and inflammation , individuals in relationships high in conflict and hostility recovered from wounds more slowly than people in low-hostility relationships. The presence or imagined presence of an intimate partner can even impact perceived pain. In fMRI studies, participants who view an image of their intimate partner report less pain in response to

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2604-413: The interdependent nature of relationships, one partner's life satisfaction influences and predicts change in the other person's life satisfaction even after controlling for relationship quality. Social support from an intimate partner is beneficial for coping with stress and significant life events. Having a close relationship with someone who is perceived as responsive and validating helps to alleviate

2666-539: The interest of maintaining the relationship. This necessitates compromise , sacrifice, and communication. In general, feelings of intimacy and commitment increase as a relationship progresses, while passion plateaus following the excitement of the early stages of the relationship. Engaging in ongoing positive shared communication and activities is important for strengthening the relationship and increasing commitment and liking between partners. These maintenance behaviors can include providing assurances about commitment to

2728-944: The interest. Experts have claimed that when people select potential mates, they look for someone whose status, physical attractiveness, and personal qualities are about the same as their own. According to a theory, a person will select a potential partner who will better his or her self-image or persona. Researchers acknowledge a set of flirting behaviors, that have been employed by both sexes to attract each other. Conversations that are started by romantic attraction are typically light and include laughter. There have been years of research that have established many principles of attraction, one being an experiment by Aron and his colleagues, conducted in 1989, that found that most people repeatedly mentioned reciprocal liking, personality, and appearance as factors that influenced them to fall in love. People are naturally more attracted to those who express positive emotions towards them and simply knowing that someone

2790-444: The members of the relationship mutually influence each other. The quality and nature of the relationship depends on the interactions between individuals, and is derived from the unique context and history that builds between people over time. Social and legal institutions such as marriage acknowledge and uphold intimate relationships between people. However, intimate relationships are not necessarily monogamous or sexual, and there

2852-611: The members of the relationship negotiate to try to arrive at a compromise. Individuals vary in how they typically engage with conflict. Gottman describes that happy couples differ from unhappy couples in their interactions during conflict: unhappy couples tend to use more frequent negative tone of voice, show more predictable behavior during communication, and get stuck in cycles of negative behavior with their partner. Other unproductive strategies within conflict include avoidance and withdrawal, defensiveness, and hostility. These responses may be salient when an individual feels threatened by

2914-453: The moment. High quality sex in intimate relationships can both strengthen the relationship and improve well-being for each individual involved. High quality intimate relationships have a positive impact on physical health , and associations between close relationships and health outcomes involving the cardiovascular , immune , and endocrine systems have been consistently identified in the scientific literature. Better relationship quality

2976-504: The negative impact of stress, and shared activities with an intimate partner aids in regulating emotions associated with stressful experiences. Support for positive experiences can also improve relationship quality and increase shared positive emotions between people. When a person responds actively and constructively to their partner sharing good news (a process called "capitalization"), well-being for both individuals increases. In intimate relationships that are sexual, sexual satisfaction

3038-490: The other person was attracted to them and the study also showed that maintaining eye contact was the most common clue. It has also been shown that people often flatter and praise people whose favour they are trying to win, and people said that they even modify their self-presentation to better fit the expectations or preferences of the person to whom they are attracted, or from whom they are seeking attention or affection. Reciprocal liking has been observed in schools, and amongst

3100-406: The participants were asked to write a brief statement about what they thought of their partner. After they had written these statements, the experimenters allowed them to read what their respective partners had written. Once the participants had read that their partners liked them, they then reported liking their partners more than when they had read that their partners did not like them. Attraction

3162-564: The period following a break-up can also promote personal growth, particularly if the previous relationship was not fulfilling. Intimate relationships impact happiness and satisfaction with life . While people with better mental health are more likely to enter intimate relationships, the relationships themselves also have a positive impact on mental health even after controlling for the selection effect . In general, marriage and other types of committed intimate relationships are consistently linked to increases in happiness. Furthermore, due to

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3224-495: The person from an LCC might believe that the person from an HCC does not like them due to the fact that they are using ambiguous language while speaking. As a result, the person from a low-context culture may conclude that their high-context culture conversation partner dislikes them, and following the rules of reciprocal liking, they will return this dislike or disinterest. Culture plays a particular role in reciprocal liking, and cultures that operate independently from other cultures

3286-407: The potential benefits of a close relationship and thus have difficulty building an intimate connection with a partner. Stress that occurs both within and outside an intimate relationship—including financial issues, familial obligations, and stress at work—can negatively impact the quality of the relationship. Stress depletes the psychological resources that are crucial for developing and maintaining

3348-578: The relationship and lead to distress and relationship dissolution . Intimacy is the feeling of being in close, personal association with another person. Emotional intimacy is built through self-disclosure and responsive communication between people, and is critical for healthy psychological development and mental health. Emotional intimacy produces feelings of reciprocal trust, validation, vulnerability, and closeness between individuals. Physical intimacy —including holding hands , hugging , kissing , and sex —promotes connection between people and

3410-596: The relationship formation period allows individuals to explore different interpersonal connections before further investing in an intimate relationship. Context, timing, and external circumstances influence attraction and whether an individual is receptive to beginning an intimate relationship. Individuals vary across the lifespan in feeling ready for a relationship, and other external pressures including family expectations, peers being in committed relationships, and cultural norms influence when people decide to pursue an intimate relationship. Being in close physical proximity

3472-442: The relationship, engaging in shared activities, openly disclosing thoughts and feelings, spending time with mutual friends, and contributing to shared responsibilities. Physical intimacy including sexual behavior also increases feelings of closeness and satisfaction with the relationship. However, sexual desire is often greatest early in a relationship, and may wax and wane as the relationship evolves. Significant life events such as

3534-426: The relationship. Common sources of conflict between intimate partners include disagreements about the balance of work and family life, frequency of sex, finances, and household tasks. Psychologist John Gottman 's research has identified three stages of conflict in couples. First, couples present their opinions and feelings on the issue. Next, they argue and attempt to persuade the other of their viewpoint, and finally,

3596-446: The relationship. This might include moving in together, sharing responsibilities or property, and getting married . These commitment markers increase relationship stability because they create physical, financial, and symbolic barriers and consequences to dissolving the relationship. In general, increases in relationship satisfaction and investment are associated with increased commitment. Individuals in intimate relationships evaluate

3658-468: The relative personal benefits and costs of being in the relationship, and this contributes to the decision to stay or leave. The investment model of commitment is a theoretical framework that suggests that an evaluation of relationship satisfaction, relationship investment, and the quality of alternatives to the relationship impact whether an individual remains in a relationship. Because relationships are rewarding and evolutionarily necessary, and rejection

3720-524: The set of assumptions people tend to make about those who are similar to themselves. Students are often socially pressured to form friendships depending on the person's age, gender, social class, or racial-ethnic background. Parents and other adults involved in a child's life can also have a large influence on the friendships that children choose to have, this being because they teach children to select "appropriate" friends who will not pass on bad morals or inappropriate traits. A person's self-esteem also has

3782-465: The topic and severity of the conflict and the characteristics of the individuals involved. Repeated stressful instances of unresolved conflict might cause intimate partners to seek couples counseling , consult self-help resources, or consider ending the relationship. Attachment orientations that develop from early interpersonal relationships can influence how people behave in intimate relationships, and insecure attachment can lead to specific issues in

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3844-407: The younger generation in general. For example, children evaluate their peers' behaviours, relationships, and interactions and then construct their own interpretations. Students tend to choose friends that are similar to themselves, meaning those who share the same likes and interests. There are two psychological reasons as to why this seems to happen, the first being social pressure and the other being

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